


In the Shade of the Christmas Tree

by the_contrarian



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Family, Gen, Hudson-Hummel Family, M/M, Pansexual Character, Step-Brothers, Unrequited Crush, hummelholidays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 20:25:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5429633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_contrarian/pseuds/the_contrarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first holidays of any blended family coming together can be difficult.</p>
<p>Inspired by the hummelholidays tumblr's prompt "Unexpected/Bad Luck Holiday Events"</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Shade of the Christmas Tree

Kurt knows he’s barely containing his excitement as he leaves the Dalton campus for the last time in 2010. The Christmas break started five minutes earlier when he finished his last semester exam, and for the first time in nine years, Christmas at home is going to be more than just he and his dad futilely pretending not to miss his mom. Kurt already has found out that Carole and Finn love Christmas, and Kurt can’t wait to have a big celebration and enjoyable Christmas season. He’s absolutely sure that it’s going to be perfect, from the baking to the family discussions while drinking eggnog on Christmas Eve to the presents on Christmas morning. 

Kurt’s good mood lasts all the way until the next morning, when he heads into the kitchen. 

“‘Morning, Dad!” he says merrily. “It’s baking day one!” 

“That’s right,” Burt says, nodding a little. “Carole wrote down her recipe for thumbprints for you.” 

Kurt frowns. “I always make almond wreaths on the first day of baking, Dad. Thumbprint cookies are so pedestrian.” 

“I know that we always spread the baking out, one kind of cookie a day starting the day school lets out,” Burt says, “but Carole and Finn have their own baking traditions, too. They usually do all of their baking in one day, on Christmas Eve. Carole and I thought a good compromise would be spreading out the baking like you do, using their recipes.” 

“Dad!” 

Burt shakes his head. “Kurt, you and I both know that most of your fancy cookies get taken to the shop.” 

Kurt opens the refrigerator with more force than necessary, retrieving the necessary three sticks of butter so it can soften. “Is there anything else before I start gathering the ingredients for these… thumbprints?” 

“Aren’t you going to wait for Finn?” 

“Wait for—” Kurt wheels around, suddenly angrier than he would have imagined. “I have to bake with _Finn_? He burns grilled cheese sandwiches!” 

“Baking for Christmas is his tradition, too,” Burt says sternly as Kurt can hear Finn coming down the stairs. 

“Fine. I’ll have him measure or something, to keep him from messing things up. I’m sure that’s what Carole does,” Kurt says under his breath. 

Finn does not acquiesce immediately to measuring out the ingredients, and after Kurt makes the dough, Finn starts critiquing the size of the balls Kurt is making. 

“I think I know what I’m doing!” Kurt snaps. 

“It’s not a big deal,” Finn says, looking stung. “I made the same mistake the first year. If they’re too small, the jam falls out, and if they’re too big or not rolled in enough sugar, they spread too much.”

“What a tragedy,” Kurt says, handing the bowl to Finn and preparing to start making the ‘thumbprint’ in each ball. 

“Not yet,” Finn says patiently, rolling a ball of dough in his hands. “We keep forgetting to write it down, but it works best if you cook them halfway, then use the back of a tablespoon to make the dent. Then the jam only cooks half of the time.” 

Kurt can feel his nostrils flare, and he wants to know why Finn thinks he can traipse into Kurt’s Christmas traditions. Since he’s not supposed to make the impressions, he washes his hands and pours a new cup of coffee for himself. 

“Coffee?” he asks, even though he knows Finn doesn’t drink it. 

“No thanks,” Finn says cheerfully. “I’ll have some warm cookies with eggnog once they’re done, though!” 

Kurt sighs as he drinks his coffee. He knows Finn means well, at least, even if baking with him isn’t how Kurt envisioned spending his Christmas break. The next day’s cookie will surely be more to Kurt’s liking. It’s merely an adjustment, Kurt reminds himself. 

 

Carole knows that the first holidays of any blended family coming together can be difficult, but she genuinely hadn’t expected the boys to have quite so much trouble with the simple alteration in their baking schemes. With Finn being nearly seventeen, she hadn’t thought he’d really mind if he baked with Kurt daily in the mornings instead of with Carole all day on Christmas Eve. When she’d told Finn, though, he’d looked stunned and upset before asking if Carole would at least help them make the sugar cookies on Christmas Eve morning. 

From what Burt says and what Carole overhears, though, Kurt doesn’t get upset so much as offended. When the second day of baking is the cake mix cookies that had been the first ones Finn had mastered, at almost four, Carole hears Kurt downstairs fuming. 

“Cake mix? Do you know how bad all those preservatives are, Dad? Couldn’t you at least have bought organic cake mix?” 

Carole winces, glad she can hear the shower still running and Finn’s voice rising above the sound of the water. She can’t remember when “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” became one of Finn’s favorite Christmas songs, but it’s remained near the top of the list for over a decade. There’s no need for Finn to hear Kurt’s attitude, not when she still treasures the picture of four year old Finn standing next to the platter of cake mix cookies that he’d made himself. 

The third, fourth, and fifth days of cookie-baking go surprisingly smoothly as far as Carole hears, though she suspects from the look on Finn’s face that Kurt wasn’t that impressed with day four’s chocolate-covered marshmallow top hats. On the sixth day, though, the twenty-third, Carole is in the kitchen when Kurt comes in, and he stares at the cream cheese and butter that Finn’s already set on the counter. 

“What are we making today?” Kurt asks. 

“Rugelach,” Finn says after swallowing his mouthful of cereal. 

“Ruge-what?” 

“Rugelach,” Carole says with a smile. “After Finn came home from spending a night of Hanukkah at Noah’s in third grade, we added it to the rotation.” 

“So it’s not even a Christmas cookie?” Kurt says, looking horrified. 

“It’s a Hanukkah cookie,” Finn says. “Puck likes the chocolate ones best, but I kinda like the ones with jam, so we make both!” Finn puts his bowl in the dishwasher and pulls out the food processor, and she can see the confusion and outrage on Kurt’s face as Finn starts cutting the cream cheese, then the butter, into smaller pieces. 

“Just don’t forget the parchment paper under the cookies like we did a few years ago,” Carole says, and Finn laughs, waving over his shoulder at her as she leaves. 

Carole doesn’t want to keep score or anything so gauche, but if she _were_ , she’d note that Finn is adapting far better to altered traditions than Kurt. He’s seemed a little thoughtful when he’s been home, like he’s figuring some things out, but she’s also caught him humming as he wraps presents, so Carole knows it can’t be too serious. 

Kurt, on the other hand, seems to get a little more bullheaded as the week progresses. He doesn’t say anything overt where Carole can hear, but it’s clear Kurt is disappointed that his Christmas isn’t proceeding one hundred percent according to his plan—even though his plan had failed to remember the other three of them had favorites, plans, and traditions, too. 

 

When Finn gets up on Christmas Eve, the very first thing he does is have a breakfast that consists mostly of cookies and eggnog, with a very small portion of scrambled eggs. The second part of the morning is devoted to making sugar cookie cut-outs, and while the first batch is cooking, Finn gets more eggnog. 

“Puck’s coming at noon,” he tells Carole, who nods. “Since you said we were doing the movie this afternoon.” 

“Movie?” Kurt asks. 

“Yeah, we always watch a Christmas movie on Christmas Eve, but Mom said you and your dad do a sit and talk thing, so we’re doing the movie this afternoon!” 

“Oh.” Kurt makes the face that Finn’s started to recognize, and Finn doesn’t really know how to feel about. Being a ‘blended family’ isn’t easy, but Finn’s _trying_ , and he wishes it felt like Kurt was trying too. Their traditions are different, and sure, Kurt gets better grades and knows more about musicals and fashion and the not-baking kind of cooking, but Finn isn’t dumb, not in the way Kurt keeps acting like he is. Finn has some pretty cool presents picked out for his mom and Burt and Kurt, and yeah, he’s been a little preoccupied the rest of the day, but he’s been paying attention to the baking. 

Finn doesn’t say anything, but it’s clear he’s actually better at baking than Kurt. Sometimes, the recipe’s wrong, and they have to add a little more flour or a little more milk. Kurt gets mad whenever Finn says that, but Finn’s been right every time. 

“What movie, exactly?” Kurt asks after another minute or two. 

“My favorite’s _A Christmas Story_ , but since we’re watching in the afternoon, we have time for two, so what’s yours?” Finn asks. 

“ _It’s a Wonderful Life_ ,” Kurt says. “It’s a classic.” 

“Okay, cool. We can all watch it, too!” 

“With Puck?” Kurt asks. 

Finn grins, because he can pretend not to notice Kurt’s upset. “Usually he comes at night on Christmas Eve, but Mom told me about family time, so he’ll go home before dinner!” 

Kurt purses his lips, but he can’t argue with Finn’s words or Finn’s attitude, and he doesn’t say anything else. 

Puck comes over at noon, just as Finn finishes making sandwiches for all of them, and despite the look on Kurt’s face at how messy they are, Finn notices Kurt _does_ eat all of his. Finn even puts on _It’s a Wonderful Life_ first, but when he looks beside him halfway through it, Kurt looks bored. It’s probably better that Finn let Puck take the recliner—like he told Kurt, Puck’s a guest, even though that wasn’t really the reason—because Puck might’ve asked Kurt why he looked so bored during his ‘favorite’ Christmas movie. 

Actually, Finn thinks it’s probably good that they’re watching movies, because now that Finn and Puck really made up and won the state championship, too, Finn’s been telling Puck about some of the things Kurt says, and most of the time, Puck looks not very happy about it. 

By the end of _It’s a Wonderful Life_ , Finn is pretty sure Puck enjoyed it the most and that Kurt only says it’s his favorite because it’s in black and white. During _A Christmas Story_ , Finn hears Kurt laugh a few times, even if he stops every time Finn looks at him. 

Finn isn’t really sure why Kurt’s so determined to be mad about a few changes to Christmas, or why Kurt has to be so mean to him. Finn knows he messed up, more than once, but he apologized, which is more than Kurt’s done for the times he messed up. Finn doesn’t have time to think about it too much, though, not when other things are keeping him preoccupied as Puck leaves and Christmas Eve dinner starts. 

 

Burt knows it’s the coward’s way, but he hasn’t yet told Kurt that they’ll be having hot cocoa after dinner, while they sit in the living room with the tree lit and Christmas music playing in the background. Kurt will be expecting eggnog, but since the rest of the evening is going according to Burt and Kurt’s tradition, Burt had thought, when he and Carole talked about it, that it wouldn’t matter if they had hot cocoa. 

Finn seems really nervous during dinner, dropping his fork at least twice and then knocking over his water glass. He apologizes profusely, Kurt rolls his eyes, and then Carole whispers something in Finn’s ear that seems to both calm him down and confuse him. Burt uses all of the commotion to slip another piece of bread onto his plate without Kurt noticing. 

“I’ll start the hot cocoa,” Carole says as soon as the dishwasher is loaded. “Finn, if you could take the marshmallows into the living room.” 

“Hot cocoa?” Kurt says. “Won’t that taste weird with the eggnog?” 

“Kurt,” Burt says, sighing when he notices the disappointed look on Carole’s face. Carole’s right—he should have told Kurt before. “I told you before that we’re blending traditions. Carole and Finn have hot cocoa on Christmas Eve.” 

“But—”

“That’s enough,” Burt says, a little more firmly than he intends, but it does the trick. Kurt doesn’t say anything else and he even helps carry the mugs of hot cocoa into the living room. Overall, Burt feels like the night is going pretty well, and then Finn starts acting nervous again. 

By then, they’ve each had two mugs of hot cocoa, Kurt’s relaxing, and the only casualty of Finn’s nervousness is a few mini-marshmallows. “Is there something?” Carole asks, and when Finn nods, she continues. “If you want to talk about something, now’s good.” 

“I don’t _want_ to,” Finn says quietly, so quietly that Burt thinks he’s the only one who heard him. “I think I ought to tell everyone here first,” he says at a louder volume. 

“Tell us what?” Kurt asks, but Burt knows it’s his fake-interested voice, and judging by the look on Finn’s face, Finn knows that too. 

“I mean, it’s probably a little weird, because of everything before,” Finn mutters, and Burt frowns. He’s pretty sure that he knows what Finn means, but Finn had apologized more than once, and in the process, given Burt context that he hadn’t had before. It didn’t excuse Finn’s words, and Finn hadn’t intended for it to, but Burt feels like he understands everything more than he did originally. 

Burt knows he isn’t perfect, and he would have snapped at someone long before Finn did. He has trouble knowing that Kurt kept crossing boundaries with Finn, because if Finn had been a girl, Burt would have seen it, and other people would have seen it. Finn was still wrong to use hateful language, but Burt knows Finn knows that, and now, Burt knows Finn knew it then, too. 

 

“What is it, sweetie?” Carole says, but Carole doesn’t look that curious in Burt’s eyes. 

“I, uh. I’m pretty sure I’m pansexual. It’s kinda like bisexual, but not exactly,” Finn says, then shoves a handful of mini-marshmallows in his mouth. 

Burt’s glad he’s not drinking anything, because he wasn’t expecting that kind of announcement. He’s surprised but maybe not shocked, and Carole doesn’t look surprised. After a few seconds for Kurt to school his face, Burt turns to look at him. Kurt doesn’t look angry, at least, just curious and a little confused. 

“Well, Finn, I think I speak for all of us that we’re glad you felt comfortable telling us,” Burt says when he realizes that no one else is going to respond. 

“Exactly,” Carole says, but she’s looking at Burt and smiling at him, not Finn. Kurt nods, and Burt thinks he can hear Kurt murmur something to Finn, and Finn nods too.

“Are we ready for a third cup of hot cocoa? Maybe some spiked cocoa for us, Carole?” Burt asks. 

Carole nods, and Burt takes the mugs back into the kitchen to refill them. The boys could probably use spiked cocoa too, but while Burt might look the other way if either of them snuck it, he can’t condone it by spiking theirs himself. Either way, everyone will hopefully be calm enough for Christmas morning. 

 

Kurt wakes up at 5:30 am on Christmas morning, which is an hour before his alarm is set and just proves to him that everything about this Christmas, at best, unexpected. At worst, his brain insists that he’s having the worst luck for the holidays. All of his baking plans were upended, Finn invited Puck for part of Christmas Eve, and then Finn’s bizarre announcement. Finn’s announcement, Kurt supposes, could turn things around for Kurt. 

After all, the number of people that Finn could be interested in, that would possibly be interested enough to make Finn feel the need to announce his pansexuality to the family? Is very low. Kurt doesn’t want to be too overconfident, and the truth is that he _had_ started to move on from Finn, but—he wouldn’t object. It would be one good unexpected thing out of all the unexpected things this Christmas. Certainly, Kurt thinks, better than cake mix cookies or hot cocoa on Christmas Eve. 

There’s no snow on the ground, though, and it’s not even cold, Kurt notices, since a steady rain is falling. He sighs and waits until 6:30 to tiptoe downstairs and start the coffee going. In a fit of generosity, he starts hot cocoa for Finn, then carries mugs into the living room just as Finn comes down. Finn puts another gift under the tree, looking a little sheepish, then sits down and starts drinking from his mug. 

“Thanks,” Finn says quietly, reaching for a cookie from the plate on the side table. Kurt nods and tries not to wrinkle his nose at the top hat cookie. 

Burt and Carole come downstairs before the coffee gets cold, and Kurt is pleasantly surprised that his and his dad’s style of opening presents—one at a time—is the same as Finn and Carole’s. The morning goes comfortably and happy, and even the presents that Finn had put under the tree earlier in the week turn out to be relatively well thought out. Kurt tells himself not to read too much into his gift of handwarmers and hand cream, even though it does mean Finn’s been listening to Kurt’s complaints about the cold drive to Dalton and the way the wind chaps his hands. 

After all, Finn _did_ bring down another gift, and considering the timing, Kurt’s sure it’s related to Finn’s confession from the night before. When it’s the only present left under the tree, Finn shakes his head at Carole and says something about “later,” which is enough of a possibility that Kurt spends part of the time he’s stirring gravy thinking of ways to make sure he and Finn have a moment alone after Christmas dinner. 

Finn volunteers to do the dishes after dinner, though, which means Kurt feels like he should volunteer post-dessert. By the time the kitchen is clean, Finn isn’t in the living room. Kurt notices that the last gift is missing, and he heads upstairs as casually as he can. Finn isn’t there, though, and Kurt sighs. The unexpected string of less than thrilling events is continuing, since when Kurt looks outside, Finn’s truck is missing. 

Kurt sighs and stays upstairs long enough that his dad and Carole shouldn’t guess that he was looking for Finn, then heads back downstairs to sit in the living room. Carole at least must know where Finn is, since she doesn’t look worried even as it gets later. Because of Kurt’s early wake up, he goes upstairs relatively early in the evening, ready to listen to the rain on the roof and put pajamas on again. 

Because of that, he hears Finn’s truck rattle up to the curb in front of the house, and with the light off in his room, Kurt goes to peek out the window. Finn isn’t alone, is the first thing that Kurt notices, and he supposes he wasn’t as much over Finn as he thought, the way he feels suddenly jealous. 

Finn opens the door for whoever it is, but the rain obscures Kurt’s view enough that he can’t be sure who it is. He’s almost certain it’s a boy, however, and he’s absolutely certain Finn leans in to kiss whomever it is, right there in the rain. Kurt turns away from the window and walks quickly to his bedroom door, locking it. It’s probably best he doesn’t know exactly who it is. 

He knows enough, after all. Absolutely nothing about his Christmas has been anything but unexpected—the worst sort of luck.


End file.
